Wells: Furniture queen finally has her own style

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By Joberta Wells

When I got my first apartment I had all sorts of hand-me-downs from family and friends with which to “decorate.” I use that term loosely because there was no decorating.  I even had a 4-foot walnut log that I used as an ashtray stand.
My decorating ability didn’t improve with age. I dreamed of the day when I could afford a living room suite or bedroom suite of furniture. (For years I mispronounced suite as “suit” instead of “sweet.”) You know what a suite of furniture is – everything matches from the couch to the easy chair to the end tables to the coffee table to the lamps. Nothing I have ever had matched anything else. For years I told everyone that my decorating style was “Post Depression Miscellaneous” or “Attic Eclectic.”
When I was a kid I had a friend who had French Provincial furniture in her bedroom. It was all girly and fluffy and pretty and I loved it. I had an iron bed that came from a sale at Wakon’da-ho before I was born. Later I had my parents’ old double bed that they bought when they first married. Hey, it had a matching chest of drawers so maybe that could be considered a “suite.”
Anyway, I have been deprived most of my life of matching furniture.
Do you ever watch television on a Sunday morning before the rooster crows? There’s not much on except paid advertising. I was up very early one Sunday morning and was flipping through channels to find something I could watch. Wow, a home decorating show was on and I watched it.
Guess what I learned! There is a style among interior decorators that is now known as “Remastered American.” What does that mean? Remastered American is a style in which nothing matches.
Imagine my surprise when the interior decorator on the show told everyone that if you mixed Grandma’s Early American rocker with a Biedermeier table with a Scandinavian Contemporary couch with Art Deco mirrors and lamps with Persian carpets, you were in the middle of a Remastered American home. I love it! It means I’ve been in style for years and didn’t know it.
I don’t have a Biedermeier table or a Scandinavian Contemporary couch or anything Art Deco but I have an old handmade three-quarter bed that I use as a daybed. I have an ancient TV set. I have my father’s oak study table from his high school days in the 1920s. I have a handmade cabinet that is rough as a cob. I have a German record player cabinet (minus the record player) that was probably made in the 1930s. I have two rocking chairs — one old and one new and both wooden.
My bedroom is worse (or better?). I have my grandmother’s old iron and brass bed, two oak end tables from a previous apartment, an Eastland chest of drawers that my mother stripped of 10,000 coats of paint and refinished, a Hubert Cornett handmade lamp, and a lingerie chest in the Campbellsville style.
I have arrived. My decorating style is finally recognized. I am a furniture queen. I have a Remastered American home.  What a hoot!